Simpsons Quotes

[Snoop]

I love simpson quotes ;)

Homer: "Twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!"
Homer's Brain: "Tewnty dollars can buy many peanuts."
Homer: "Explain how!"
Homer's Brain: "Money can be exchanged for goods and services."

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Marge: "Homer, I've got someone here who can help."
Homer: "Is it Batman?"
Marge: "No, it's a scientist."
Homer: "Batman is a scientist."
Marge: "It's not Batman!"

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Homer: "You mean you're never going to eat meat again? What about pork chops?"
Lisa: "No."
Homer: "Ham?"
Lisa: "No."
Homer: "Bacon?"
Lisa: "Dad, all those come from the same animal!
Homer: "Sure Lisa, some magical animal!"

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Bart: "These shorts suck!"
Marge: "Bart, where did you learn that type of language?"
Homer: (on the phone) "Yeah, Moe, they sure did suck last night. I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked."
Marge: "Homer!"
Homer: "Oh, I gotta go, my damn weiner kids are listening."

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Homer: (Talks continuously about Thomas Edison.)
Moe: "Okay, I think we've been courtious enough. So Lenny, what happened to the dame in the bathing suit?"
Lenny: "Huh?... Oh, I forgot, all I can think about is Edison. I don't even remember where I work!"
Homer: "Well, I remember where Edison worked.It was at Manlow Park, and his wife's name was Marilyn, and his middle name was Alva, and Oh!..."
Carl: (interupting) "Ya know, James Watts invented the steam engine?"
Homer: "That's boring Carl!... you're boring... stop boring everybody!"

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Homer: "Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me?"
Attendant: "Okay, Mr. Burns, what's your first name?"
Homer: "I don't know."

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Leonard Nemoy: "My work here is done."
Bart: "What do you mean your work here is done? You didn't even do anything."
Leonard Nemoy: "Didn't I?"
(disappears into the mist)

[axl_morgs]

hehe

dont get me and bacon started :p

[kika]

There all mad, love them :D

But this one should end in

Originally posted by Sn00p

Homer: "Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me?"
Attendant: "Okay, Mr. Burns, what's your first name?"
Homer: "I don't know."



Instead of 'I dont know'




I...... dont........know...

He pauses inbetween the words a bit ;)

[WarT]

Marge: Homer where did you get that?
Homer: Get what?
Marge: That giant donut.
Home: Well i aquired it legally you can be sure of that.

[Spoonman]

"As you are unfamiliar with sarcasm I shall close the register at this point"

:p bacon

[unscarred]

"oh, no .... BETA !"

[ThoR`]

Whip-Guy: *whips homer* Hey! No listening.. Ya hear me?
Homer: uhh... no?
Whip-Guy: You just never learn do ya.

[i0Nic]

snoop your sig..

Sometimes, when I lie in bed at night and look up at the stars, I think to myself, "Man! I really need to fix that roof." - PogmaN

i said that!!! hehe :eek:

[axl_morgs]

Homer : "What about those red balls they have on car aerials so you can spot
your car in a park. I think all cars should have them!"

[axl_morgs]

its BEGUN :D

Homer - Just squeeze your rage into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time. Like that day I hit that referee with a whiskey bottle. ‘Member that?

[axl_morgs]

Homer is GOD

A hundred bucks!? For a comic book? Who drew it, Micha- ma -langelo?

Once upon a time, there was a big, mean lion who got a thorn in his paw and all the village people tried to pull it out, but nobody was strong enough. So, they got Hercules and Hercules used his mighty strength and bing! Anyway, the moral of the story is: the lion was so happy, he gave Hercules this big thing of riches.

[axl_morgs]

some more of homer's parenting skillz

Stealing?! How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain What’s his name? We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughin’. Did you?

[axl_morgs]

"Give me my dignity. I just came here to see 'Honk if you're horny' in peace."

[axl_morgs]

When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie -- Spaceballs. But instead it was dark and disturbing. Like that movie -- Police Academy.

[axl_morgs]

Marge: Homer, did you call the audience "Chicken"?
Homer: No! I swear on this bible!
Marge: That's not a bible. That's a book of carpet samples.
Homer: Mmmm... fuzzy.

[axl_morgs]

Bart: What do we need church shoes for? Jesus wore sandals.
Homer: Well, maybe if he had had better arch support, they wouldn't have caught 'im.

[axl_morgs]

Homer : "Marge, I ate those fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom."
Marge : "Oh, my gosh!"
Brain : "No, the other secret."
Homer : "Marge, I never passed high school."
Marge : "That still doesn't explain why you ate my soap. Wait, maybe it does."


:LOL

[kyzen]

Ralph: "My cats breath smells like cat food"
:LOL

[axl_morgs]

Marge : "But, Homer! You're a Nuclear Technician."
Homer : "Marge! Icksnay on the Uclearnay EchnicianTay."
Marge : "What did you say?"
Homer : "I don't know. I flunked Latin, too."

[axl_morgs]

Homer: Ah, Andy Capp, you wife-beating drunk...

[axl_morgs]

Bart - We don't need a babysitter
Homers Brain - WAIT! *looks at card* "always do the opposite of what the boy says"
Homer - No! You will have a babysitter!
Bart - Curse that stupid card. Don't give me the card dad
Homer - Ooook *almost gives card to bart* NO!!
Bart - Damn!

[axl_morgs]

Homer's brain: Use reverse psychology.
Homer: Oh, that sounds too complicated.
Homer's brain: Okay, don't use reverse psychology.
Homer: Okay, I will!

[axl_morgs]

Homer - Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves, gremlins and eskimos!

[axl_morgs]

"Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races. "

[axl_morgs]

Homer: But every time I learn something new, it pushes out something old! Remember that time I took a home wine-making course and forgot how to drive?
Marge: That's because you were drunk!
Homer: And how!

[axl_morgs]

Mr Burns - As punishment for your desertion, its company policy to give you the plague.

[axl_morgs]

Mr Burns - Smithers, get the amnesia ray!
Smithers - Ummm, you mean the revolver sir?
Mr Burns - Precisely!

[axl_morgs]

Marge: Homer, is this how you pictured married life?
Homer: Yup, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.

[axl_morgs]

http://www.actionfig.com/simpsons/mr_sparkle.jpg

The Mr. Sparkle Commercial:
(A housewife in her kitchen blows a whistle, bringing
Mr. Sparkle to life off of his box. He calls to her.)
Mr. Sparkle: I'm disrespectful to dirt! Can you see I
am serious?
(Mr. Sparkle hovers over her dirty dishes, releasing
sparkles over them. The dishes' grime disappears. Mr.
Sparkle floats to the living room, where he bounces over
a baby's xylophone. He then appears underwater,
where three women are dancing.)
Mr. Sparkle: Get out of my way, all of you! This is no
place for loafers. Join me or die. Can you do any less?
(The women stop dancing.)
Two of the women: What a brave corporate logo! I
accept the challenge of "Mr. Sparkle."
Woman: Awsoma power!
(Mr. Sparkle blows magic dust over the girls as a graphic
of a drumming monkey toy hovers in the upper left of
the screen. The dust turns the girls into blue Sumos.)
(The scene changes to a reporter interviewing a two-
headed cow.)
Reporter: Any plans for the summer?
(Mr. Sparkle appears and shatters the cow. It's
disembodied eyes blink at him. The scene changes to
Mr. Sparkle coming at us from an orange background.)
Mr. Sparkle: For lucky best wash, use Mr. Sparkle

[axl_morgs]

Belle (the burlesque lady): Your son was trespassing on my property and destroyed a very valuable stone gargoyle, and - are you wearing a grocery bag?

Homer: i misplaced my pants.

:LOL :LOL :LOL

[axl_morgs]

Homer - bart! with 10,000 dollars - we'll be millionaires!

[axl_morgs]

http://server35.hypermart.net/nefarious69/morgues/generic1.jpg

Raplh wiggum - "Thank you Super nintendo Chalmers , IM LEARNEDING!"

[axl_morgs]

COLONEL HAPABLAP: To fly! The dream of man and flightless bird alike!

[axl_morgs]

Bart - oh cheer up mom. you cant buy publicity like that. Thousands and thousands of people saw your pretzels injuring whitey ford.
Homer - You can call them Whitey-whackers!

[axl_morgs]

Mr scorpio says productivity is up 2%, and its all because of my motivational techniques, like donuts, and the possibility of more donuts to come.

[axl_morgs]

ok that will do for now ;)

[LaRgO]

where do you guys get this from ?

[Deaders]

A TV show called "The Simpsons" :)

[GoRechilD]

Hehe...three I like.

[The episode where Homer goes to space]

Homer: (talking on the phone in Moes) Mr president, I thought you'd know where to get some tang...ShutUp!

[The episode where Homer does jury duty]

Skinner: We're like the original odd couple. I'm the tidy one and your the lazy...
Homer: Shutup!

[Hmm...I think when Homer is town cryer]

Homer: Lisa, am I wearing pants?

:)

[GoRechilD]

Eek :/

[LaRgO]

:LOL

[Spoonman]

OH MY GOD! THERE IS NO EMOTICON FOR WHAT I'M FEELING!!!

bwahahah love it

[exarch]

Can i see you club ?
It's not a club son, it's a baton .
what do you use it for ?
Clubing people.

[bacon buster]

my cats name is mittens

[bacon buster]

Ralph: Um, Miss Hoover? There's a dog in the vent.
Hoover: Ralph, remember the time you said Snagglepuss was outside?
Ralph: He was going to the bathroom.

[axl_morgs]

some choice groundskeeper willie quotes

"Ugh, if elected mayor,my first act will be to kill the whole lot of ya,and burn your town to cinders!"

"My God man! I've watered her down as far as she'll go I cannot water no more"

"Get your fresh haggis......"

[axl_morgs]

" I'll kill that Mr. Burns!And wound that Mr.Smithers"

"Now look boy,if your Dad goes ga-ga,you just use that Shin of yours to call me and I'll come a running.But don't be reading my mind between 4 and 5,thats Willie's time"

"Deeper,wider,faster.I wouldn't bury me turtle in that mud puddle.Yak!What's the use"

[axl_morgs]

http://www2.liglobal.com/simpsons/images/willy.gif

[bacon buster]

http://users.bigpond.net.au/simpsons/Ralph2.jpg

[axl_morgs]

http://www.nohomers.net/mmmpaste/images/images/idaho.gif

Im Idaho.

[bacon buster]

bah @ you morgs ;)

[bacon buster]

"And, when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life."

[bacon buster]

"Bushes are nice 'cause they don't have pr1ckers. Unless they do. This one did. Ouch!"

[Deaders]

Originally posted by bacon buster
Ralph: Um, Miss Hoover? There's a dog in the vent.
Hoover: Ralph, remember the time you said Snagglepuss was outside?
Ralph: He was going to the bathroom.
:LOL thats one of my favourite simpsons quotes.

[bacon buster]

Bob: Enough! Lies, lies, lies! I did it! I did it all!
[everyone gasps]
There.
Bart: We want the truth!
Bob: You want the truth? You can't handle the truth. No truth-
handler, you. Bah! I deride your truth-handling abilities.
Judge: Will you get to the point?

[the lazychef]

Homer: "I am so smart, I am so smart.. S.....M.....R.....T.......... S.....M.....R.....T oh I mean S....M....A....R....T"

[Snoop]

Don't get me started :P

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Bart: "Listen Martin, right now I'm looking for a friend who won't leave me for a girl."
Martin: "That's me. I'm just as unpopular with the ladies as I am with the chaps."

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Sideshow Bob: "The following people will not be killed by me, Homer Simpson, Marge Simpson, Lisa Simpson, Maggie Simpson. That is all."

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Movementarians: "Would you like to see our leader?"
Homer: "Who the hell is that, some kind of leader?"

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Homer: "Just squeeze your rage into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time. Like taht day I hit the referee with a wiskey bottle. 'Member that?"

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Lionel Hutz: "Milhouse, Lionel Hutz here. I'll be your new lawyer, bodyguard, unauthorized biographer and drug dealer... keeper awayer."

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Homer: "Wanna donut?"
Lisa: "Don't you have any fruit?"
Homer: "This one has purple stuff inside, Purple is a fruit."

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Jimbo: "You kissed a girl! That is so gay."

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Bart: "How can someone with glasses that thick be so stupid?"

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Lisa: "Maybe I can't concentrate because of all of your cooties?"
Milhouse: "It's called 'lice' and it's nothing to be ashamed of."

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Homer: "Oh, Lord, why do you mock me?"
Marge: "That's not God.That's just a waffle Bart threw up there."
(Later)
Homer: "I know I shouldn't eat thee but... mmm... sacrilicious!"

[exarch]

i knew i shouldnt have eaten that packet of powder'd gravy i found in the parking lot.

[axl_morgs]

Ron Howard: Is that vodka?..... and wheatgrass juice?....

Homer: I call it a lanmower, ya want one?

Ron Howard (pauses for a while): ....yeah!

[axl_morgs]

Homer: Now I only eat food in bar form... for instance, I've

compressed this five pounds of spaghetti into one bite sized

morsel.

(he eats the bar a calmy picks up the telephone)

Homer: Hospital please....

[bacon buster]

"Oh, those Golden Grahams. Oh, those
Golden Grahams. Crispy, crunchy, graham cereal, brand new breakfast
treat..."

[bacon buster]

Tom: It's a lovely day for a launch, here, live at Cape Canaveral, at
the lower end of the Florida Peninsula, and the purpose of
today's mission is truly, really electrifying.
Man 2: That's correct, Tom. The lion's share of this flight will be
devoted to the study of the effects of weightlessness on tiny
screws.
Tom: Unbelievable, and just imagine the logistics of weightlessness.
And of course, this could have literally millions of applications
here on Earth -- everything from watchmaking to watch repair.
Homer: Boring.
[tries to switch channels, but the batteries fall from the
remote control]
No! The batteries!
Tom: Now let's look at the crew a little.
Man 2: They're a colorful bunch. They've been dubbed "the Three
Musketeers". Heh heh heh --
Tom: And we laugh legitimately. There's a mathematician, a different
_kind_ of mathematician, and a statistician.
Homer: Make it stop! [panics]
Bart: Oh no, not another boring space launch. Change the channel.
Change the channel!
Homer: I can't! I can't!
[Bart dives for the plug and tears it from the wall]
[He and Homer both sigh]

[bacon buster]

McAllister: I'll need three ships and fifty stout men. We'll sail
'round the Horn and return with spices and silk, the likes
of which ye have never seen.
Burns: We're building a casino!
McAllister: Arr...can you give me five minutes?

[bacon buster]

Homer: I got a job at Burns' casino. As you know, it's been my lifelong
dream to become a blackjack dealer.
Marge: Your lifelong dream was to be a contestant on "The Gong Show",
and you did it in 1977, remember?
[Flashback to Homer and Barney playing a giant harmonica,
wearing a pair of two-man large overalls, getting gonged and
booed]
Homer: We got more gongs than the break-dancing robot that caught on
fire.

[bacon buster]

Blofeld: 20. Your move, Mr. Bond.
Bond: I'll take a hit, dealer. [Homer gives him a card] Joker! You
were supposed to take those out of the deck.
Homer: Oh, sorry. Here's another one.
Bond: What's this card? "Rules for Draw and Stud Poker"?
Blofeld: What a pity, Mr. Bond.
[Odd Job and Jaws grab Bond and drag him out]
Bond: But...but it's Homer's fault! I didn't lose. I never lose!
Well, at least tell me the details of your plot for world
domination.
Blofeld: Ho ho ho, I'm not going to fall for _that_ one again.

[bacon buster]

Homer: [disgusted] Oh, it's always _something_, isn't it? First I have
to drive your pregnant mother to the hospital so she can give
birth to you. And now this.